Kink is a shit-stained word. It’s a wrongly accused homicidal maniac.
People think it’s all basements and unsanitised ball-gags. In reality, that’s just our Tuesday club.
I’m just kidding…
Here are 4 reasons to grab your – whoever, take them to the master bedroom and get your costumes on. It’s time to not think about taxes.
.: Kink is just pretending for adults :.
Think about a time in your childhood when you picked up a toy or doll and it came to life: it had meaning and a backstory and substance from the previous roles it had played. Forced to lie on your stomach because cross-legged had become too pins and needley, with a barbie doll in hand, you became the character. And it was so fun.
I bet you even wondered why adults were shit at playing? Where was their imagination? Their creativity?
And as we grew out of barbie dolls and into technology, socialising and academia, we lost the ability to play.
Kink allows us to find new characters, make new stories and be whatever we want to be. Replicating this child-like fun, when done in the correct way, can be an all-consuming source of enjoyment and a wonderful form of fantasy indulgence.
Inside the child in all of us, is an Oscar-award winning actor with no inhibitions whatsoever. Play the part and the rest will fall into place.
.: The people on the kink scene are super impressive :.
So, unfortunately, someone says “swinger” and we avert our eyes and try not to think of what we ALL think of – be honest!
This image, although disturbing, is incredibly untrue. I stumbled onto the scene and was kindly taken under the wing of the people I’ve come to call friends.
After mixing with a few groups, you quickly realise that most people know each other, and you must stick out like a sore thumb. But for some reason – it didn’t feel like it. They had managed to take a completely sexually charged environment and expose it to the point of no tension whatsoever. I learned a lot from these people.
Many of them are also very impressive and successful creatives and academics with substantial degrees and great careers.
Who doesn’t want to mingle with the crowd of open-minded, highly educated and well turned-out?
.: It encourages honesty in relationships :.
Why do we cheat on our partners? Because we’re caught up in the moment? Would that happen if the relationship was right? Is it because we crave to be desired? Or maybe we have daddy issues? Or we want to masturbate whilst dressed as a fish?
It could honestly be any of these. Plus a few thousand more.
But disloyalty stems from dishonesty. And how can we combat dishonesty? Talk to each other!
When we honestly communicate our sexual desires and fantasies, we entrust our partner with a piece of very personal and vulnerable information – which can be scary! I would urge everyone considering kink as a part of their lifestyle to truly understand the importance of respecting your play partners!
Long story short, when we remove the instinct to be dishonest and the threat of feeling misunderstood and guilty, the relationship becomes stronger and attachment is reaffirmed.
Getting to know someone’s sexual desires helps us to bond with them – which is great if feeling emotionally close is a priority for you!
.: It can sexualise the unsexualisable :.
Ever seen an inanimate object or everyday scenario and felt a sudden rush of blood heading south?
Congratulations! You have a fetish.
And chances are…Janet at the office and Dan who owns the bakery, also have fetishes!
“Kink” and “Fetish” mean different things to different people, but I like to define “kink” as typically sexually persuasions and “fetish” as unusual sexual persuasions. For example, nipples are kink; feet are fetish.
This means that when we meet someone with a different, similar or identical fetish to our own (or we simply encounter a fetish for the first time) – if the play session is as enchanting and memorable as I would hope, from that point forward, encountering it in our daily lives would surely bring a shadow of a smile to our faces. This is what sex is all about for me.
Working together, you can achieve a 3D tour of each other’s deepest sexual desires and change your perspective about something you never thought would make you bite your lip and press your thighs together.
Side note: if you are encountering fetish for the very first time, it means a lot to your partner when you research their fetish and opt to explore their needs over your own! They will be very grateful that you are attempting to normalise their kinks!
Have you encountered any unique and unusual fetishes that you’d like to know more about?
Submit your Project: Fascination topics here or comment below!