If you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. I love sex and I love my job, but boy, oh boy, the texts I get make me want to throw my phone off a bridge. And it’s always the same story: I can’t have what I want for the price I want it for; so, I’ll say the most hurtful thing my narrow mind can conjure up.
Firstly, let’s just establish that the ratio of genuine and respectful customers, to shitty and entitled customers, is disappointing. But this doesn’t mean to say there are no good clients out there. Many of my clients are considerate, compassionate individuals whom I would call friends.
Shall we talk about the less-than-considerate and incapable-of-compassion?
Yes, we shall.
Disclaimer: usually these messages do not get a response from me, but for the purpose of this post, I decided to play along where necessary and send suitable replies.
8. Baseless Gender Assumptions and a very Judgmental Tone
This is a snapshot of a group chat where cam girls can discuss, pretty much anything they want to (uncensored), personal and professional. Needless to say, it filled me with dread to open this chat and see completely baseless accusations, judgemental comments and 139 photos of the chat owner’s new bikini.
Yes, I was a fleeting visitor to this chat.
These messages don’t affect me directly and aren’t something I’d lose sleep over; however, I think that we, as sex workers, need to push the industry to a reasonable level of professionalism, to expect a reasonable amount back.
We shouldn’t be shaming our clients for using our services – no matter how weird and wonderful their requests are.
This was a pretty funny day, I’ll admit. But this is so much more common than you think and it is a serious waste of time.
The first thing I noticed about this message request was the stock-style-profile-photo which made my catfish-alarm squeal. This, stranger (0 mutual friends) sent me such a romantic marriage proposal via Facebook messenger, just like I always wanted. He even used the phrase “I will not force you”. Thank you so much, you’re so kind.
Realistically, this individual is just incredibly misguided and probably not too bright. Although the conversation had extremely misogynistic rhetoric, the actual messages lacked any real malice, so I don’t want to be too mean.
Just get your shit together, man, stop being a predator.
6. A Dark Corner of the Internet Called Tinder
I hope your head is in your hands. Don’t look at me, look at your palms. Whilst we mourn the dignity of this Tinder user whom I directed to my OnlyFans to find out the answer to his query.
Questions of a sexual or personal nature used as a ‘pick-up-line’ are designed to intimidate you. Red flags. Please go and take several seats in the client section.
5. Eating Disorder Trigger Warning!
Pictured above, is not a conversation about weight. It is a declaration of the standards he wanted to set for me to control my life in the most sickening and degrading way.
I do not condone partners, clients, friends or family having any input on my weight, appearance or life choices.
For the last fucking time, it’s my body. And I love it.
And once again, way more common than you think. Like, way more.
4. Same Client. Same Shit. Different Day.
This was the same client as number 5, believe it or not. I’d recognize that ego anywhere.
I couldn’t even bring myself to play along with this one.
It’s a good thing the C-word doesn’t offend me. This particular insult came off the back of months of unanswered WhatsApp messages. Somehow, he still couldn’t comprehend that I wouldn’t be interested in him.
The graphic message from the following week displays how pathetic his attempts became at trying to get me back on side. This escalated to the point of blocked contact between him and I, and to my dismay, he still hasn’t given up.
Take a hike, pal. Nobody here wants to hear your misogyny.
3. Impatient and Entitled
Translation: send me free content. Now. Why not? You’re denying my blatant entitlement to content and downright rudeness? You MUST be fake!
This is probably the most typical message I will receive throughout the day.
The impatient tone to his messages suggests he was crouched over a tissue somewhere with his phone slipping around his lubed up hand. Something I don’t need to be involved in, I’m sure you’ll agree.
2. Can We Meet?
Currently, we are in April of 2020, amid the UK Coronavirus Pandemic.
(Read our take on it here: What Will the Coronavirus Mean for Sex Workers?)
This client requested a physical meet with intimacy. During lockdown. Firstly, illegal. Secondly, stupid.
And as we examine the progression of the conversation, you’ll see me redirecting him to a suitable channel, him declining – impolitely, and then asking me on a date.
Was he expecting me to swoon? – Yes, Sir! Having coffee with you would be a dream come true! I am so attracted to men who reassure me with “PornHub is free hun” – thanks for clarifying.
I didn’t respond out of principle. One can only presume he crawled back to his mama’s basement to enjoy PornHub.
The patronising ‘hun’ really nudged this one into the category: blood boiling. Congrats dude, you made it to number 2: you’re a creep!
1. Criticize the Service User, not the Provider
Here we have it: the worst of the worst and it speaks for itself.
This client enquired extensively about my services. Upon hearing a price he didn’t like, his attitude did a 180 and he fired a bitterly distasteful family comment at me.
The image I got on reading his reply was of a toddler throwing his toys out of the pram. And that couldn’t be more accurate.
Later on that day, after calming down and, most likely, taking his afternoon nap, he attempted to contact me again to ask if I would still provide him a service.
This one is a lost cause, ladies.
He was right about one thing though; my family are hella proud of their little girl who grew up to be a badass bitch.
If these shocked you, then you must be male.
Because this isn’t something that exclusively affects sex workers, but does affect all women.