Sex Work: Pillow Talk

Is Sex Work Wrong?

Is Sex Work Wrong?

I challenge you to explain WHY you disagree with sex work. Because I guarantee you can’t.

But let’s start by saying that, ‘wrong’, is 100% subjective. This means that if something feels wrong for you, then it’s wrong for you – but not necessarily for everyone.

And we can disagree. That is fine. I will respect your opinions, providing that they don’t disrespect anyone else’s existence.

You never know where or when “antisexworkism” is going to rear its ugly head.

It still shocks me when I run into a judgemental muggle: so many of these ridiculous presumptions come from sex-work-virgins, understandably, because of the stereotypes around sex work. But so many come from my regular sex work customers. Un-fucking-believable, I know.

And too often, I catch a glimpse of me defending myself, morally, to the people using my services.

Now that we’ve established that societal infrastructure isn’t built for the success of sex workers, let’s look at some of the most popular comments about sex work from people who know nothing about what it’s like to be a sex worker:

“Sex Work Is Wrong because…”

Does sex work objectify women?

“…It objectifies women”

Yes, you’re right. It does. It’s pretty much in the job description. Explain to me again why this is wrong? If you presumed that ‘objectify’ was from solely a misogynistic perspective, you’ve been misinformed.

Where is your evidence that sex worker’s aren’t seeking objectification? I know I am. Objectification, when it is your own choice and within your control, is not ‘wrong’. It’s empowering.

The picture of feminism I want to paint is one where we make our own choices regarding our bodies; and importantly, nobody gives a shit.

And if you’re still not convinced, where does this stop? Professional athletes, dancers, music video extras, models, celebrities – all use their bodies to make a living. Do we label them as objectified too? The ways in which we use our bodies to earn varies, but we all do it.

So, yep; every area of my job objectifies me. And that’s FINE by me.

This is not wrong.
Do people who sell sex respect theselves?

“…People who sell sex don’t respect themselves”

First of all: I don’t sell sex. I use sex, to sell. See the difference?

Forget the image of the damp and dingy basement from ‘Taken’ (this is sex trafficking – which is NOT the same!) and replace it with rooftop bars, neon cocktails, luxury hotels and spas, and great company. Honestly.

I look forward to my bookings so much; with new clients and my regulars.

I have enough self-respect to make a business out of my passion and enough confidence for that passion to be sex. I respect and love my mind and body considerably more than I did before I entered the adult industry.

And yes, I do guarantee an intimate experience providing the client meets cleanliness and respectfulness standards. Because I’m not afraid of using my body for work.

This is not wrong.
Can you put a price on sex?

“…You can’t put a price on sex”

Who on earth told you that?!

Everything has a value and I assure you, sex absolutely does. By not putting a value on sex, technically we value it at £0 – all because someone told us it was too special?

Escort bookings and paid meets are all about the whole experience of being in my aura and living in my fun and cutesy world. The sex is just one of the many things that keeps them coming back: use your skillset, right, ladies?

Realistically, whoever said this, just didn’t want to pay up.

I have chosen to put a value on sex because I can.

This is not wrong.
Is sex work illegal?

“…It’s illegal, it must be wrong”

Correction: ”wrong’ only in the sense of incorrect.

Prostitution is legal in England and Wales. Lap dancing? Pro-domming? Pro-cuddling? Pornography? All legal and all valuable services in their own right.

So I’m a law-abiding, tax-paying, career-happy citizen.

This is not wrong.
Do sex workers put additional strain on the NHS?

“…Sex workers put additional strain on health resources”

Do we? Because everyone I work with gets regular, full STD checks at sexual health clinics, who also provide certificates for sex workers who may need proof for colleagues and producers.

Sex workers practising responsibly are getting regular testing, which is far cheaper than treatment.

Also, once again, do we shake our head at athletes, labourers and anyone else using these same healthcare services? No, because they’re recognised as professional service providers, and I am not!

Thankfully, sex workers have access to and the freedom to use the same healthcare services as the rest of society and are entitled to the same standard of care.

This is not wrong.
Do sex workers have to compromise on family and relationships?

“…You have to compromise on family and relationships”

This is simply not true. For proof, just look to the millions of sex workers who are successfully dating, happily married or parenting victoriously.

It might not be the family life you’ve always dreamed of, but that’s not a problem, because it’s my life.

Notice how I don’t talk down to you for living the normality that I am so threatened by? That’s because we’re different people making different choices.

And if we are single? Our singlehood is a choice. Whatever our motivation to stay single, we won’t let anyone paint it as the result of weakness or overt sexuality.

I am often told that I must be single because no good men would want a relationship with a sex worker – which is laughably untrue. I, a sex worker, would never want someone with such lacking education or respect for my choices, so it seems we’re too different to be attracted to one another? Okay.

This is not wrong.

So whether sex work is wrong for your culture, beliefs or morals – it is not ‘wrong’.
Stop criminalising sex work. Stop criminalising me.

If you’re a sex worker reading this, I hope that you can use some of these responses if you encounter similar comments!

And if you think you have a better reason why sex work is wrong? Comment below to discuss!

(Please reconsider before hitting send if your messages contain offensive content. Sassy is fine. Rude is not.)

About Author

Strip club drama and bananas-up-butt-holes. Fill your thigh-highs with the inside stories and everyday musings of a sex-positive, misconception stomping, feminist sex worker.

(2) Comments

  1. Love this article! A good read.

    1. We are so glad you enjoyed it, Leah! Thank you for your support.

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