Sex Work: The Ropes

Your Guide to Becoming a Sugar Baby


“Sugar babies are just women with rich husbands”

“Sugar babies have a life of leisure”

Sugar babies can earn £3K per month”

Truths or Myths?

Let me talk you through the basics of sugar dating…

What is a sugaring arrangement?

A sugaring arrangement is where a sugar daddy will offer their sugar baby something in exchange for her exciting presence and fun-to-be-around energy. This does not include intimacy traditionally, but with many women seeking a no-strings-attached alternative to dating, platonic sugaring arrangements are harder to come by.

To be in a sugaring arrangement or to have a sugar daddy, makes you a sugar baby! Sugar babies must be over 18 as they will be providing adult company.

But don’t let this cute nickname fool you: sugar babies can be as old, older even, than their sugar daddies or mommas. Which brings me to my next point: sugar daddies can also be as young as 18, and you can switch the genders any which way – it’s still sugaring!

How does the payment work?

Sugar daddies may show their gratitude in the form of cash, shopping trips, gifts, holidays, houses, cars – something of which he most likely has in abundance and wants to share with you as a thank you for your time, again, not as payment for sex*but read about How to Become an Escort here*

The reward or payment element should be discussed prior to making an arrangement, along with any other expectations or details. It’s helpful to be on the same page about your arrangement (and other relationships). The required level of discretion, the amount of time you’ll typically spend together and what you’ll get up to should all be discussed.

Don’t be afraid to discuss these openly with your potential sugar daddies. They will enjoy your candour that’s what sugaring is all about!

eating out with a sugar daddy

What is a typical arrangement?

There are two mainstream types of arrangement: the first is a pay-per-meet – or PPM. This is based on your sugar daddy gifting you on each occasion that you spend time with him, much like an escorting client.

The alternative – and often considered the goal for most sugar babies – is an allowance-based arrangement. In this case, you receive regular monthly gifting regardless of the amount of time you spend together.

PPMs are ideal for people with unforeseeable schedules, short-term arrangements, travel-based arrangements and trial arrangements! This option allows both parties to remain casual and uncommitted.

Whereas allowance based meets enable sugar babies to rely on a definite monthly income. However, this can be difficult to get out of if you decide it’s not for you.

How do I seal the deal?

The very best thing you can do for allowance arrangements is to draw up a basic contract to outline both of your expectations. This can even include a get-out clause“!

A contract may feel as though it may ruin the mood: but remember, we’re not trying to pretend that this isn’t a financial transaction! Your sugar daddy will most likely appreciate that you have a standard of professionalism, self-respect and no tolerance for time wasters (who we will get to in just a moment…)

What will I do as a sugar baby?

Your sugaring partner may ask you to be online based – they have no wish to ever physically meet. Or to see them for discrete meets – in private and, well, discrete! Or finally, to be their open sugar baby: attending events with them and meeting in public spots often.

Your preference may be narrowed if you have a conflicting career or maybe you just aren’t ready to sugar publicly. I would estimate 60% of the sugar daddies I have spoken with insist strongly on discretion in an arrangement. You can add this loosely to a contract if privacy is a particular concern for you.

It is important to remember that regardless of the desired level of discretion, meeting in a non-public space for the first time is high-risk. We do not advise that you take this risk, no matter what financial reward it hinges on.

During your time with your sugar daddy, it is common to go sightseeing, eat out, go to bars and events or just spend the night in a hotel having fun! Both you and your sugar daddy should decide what to do together and you should leave any meeting if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Check out some cute date ideas for you and your sugar daddy here!

woman checking text from sugar daddy

How do I find a Sugar Daddy?

The hunt for a sugar daddy can feel intimidating and tedious and monotonous if you don’t know where to look. I would advise that you use technology to create a profile where sugar daddies can view and contact you. In my experience, seeking.com (previously seekingarrangement.com) towers above its competitors. Not to say it does not have its flaws, but Seeking.com allows users to see the net worth and annual salary of potential sugar daddies, carry out specified searches and message daddies-of-interest securely.

How do I deal with Time-Wasters?

Any self-employed person deals with a time-waster or two, but in our industry, it’s 10-fold. Unfortunately, there is no sieve for time wasters. Especially via an online messaging system.

But don’t lose hope, I have some pointers to help you pick the serious daddies from the crowd:

  • Speak with potentials over the phone or via video chat. This will not only provide you with the comfort of seeing them before a meeting but will also reassure them that you are genuine and aren’t flaky!
  • Gravitate towards sugar daddies who you genuinely enjoy speaking to because the way we feel about messaging them reflects their level of respect for us. Mutual and equal respect is very important in a sugaring arrangement as, unfortunately, sugar babies have a poor reputation for greediness and some sugar daddies can have a tendency to feel ownership over their sugar baby if they resent paying them. So, all in all, stick to the gentlemen – if he wears his jeans too low or doesn’t open the door for you – you can do better. I trust each and every one of you to know when low, is too low.
  • The financial bracket is really something that is up to the both of you – and should be discussed as such! However, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of research around his career, average salary and having a think about what you would want to pay if you were in his shoes. This is, most commonly, between £500 and £3000 per month – but don’t get greedy, sugaring is about playing the long game, it’s not fast cash – it’s about finding the most suitable daddy, not the richest daddy – he won’t appreciate being treated like an ATM.

If fast earning is what you’re looking for, see 10 Unspoken Protocols for Exotic Dancers and What Should I pack in my Stripper Bag?

  • If someone is wasting your time, you will know. Listen to your instincts, they’re there for a reason!
  • If a sugar daddy has serious intentions and respects you, they will be willing to support you from day one. Giving the choice of a PPM rather than diving straight into an arrangement will shine a big red flag spotlight on the ones who make up excuses!
rich luxury house with sugar daddy

Who should be a sugar baby?

More importantly – who shouldn’t be? Well, people looking to make a living solely from sugaring may want to reconsider. If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.

It can be a frustrating game to play, as there is often mistrust between sugar daddies and sugar babies; and most of us, at some point, have been burned! But we wouldn’t let that put us off in other areas of our lives, so perseverance will really pay off!

You should also think carefully about your limits and boundaries before diving into a new arrangement: consider your health, safety and happiness before doing so!

Does offering ‘companionship’ mean I won’t have to have sex with him?

I get asked this question often and I think this is a matter of perspective. I never sugar with anyone that I wouldn’t date or am not sexually attracted to; so ask yourself, if the financial motivation was not there, would I want to spend time with this person? If not, probably best to move onto the next and see if he’s a little more upyourstreet!

And importantly: sex worker or not, you NEVER, I repeat, never, HAVE TO have sex with anyone.

How can I be a great sugar baby?

Successful arrangements are all about mutual understanding, open communication and balancing companionship between a business transaction and a genuine connection.

Understanding that your sugaring relationship is 50% strategic and 50% genuine. This is what makes a good sugar baby – be authentic, be focused and above all, be yourself!

Always assume that you are good enough and that you are equal. He will show you his appreciation with gifts and money and you can return it with warmth and companionship.

– A UK-based successful sugar baby
sugar daddy man rich wealthy powerful

What will make YOU a great sugar baby?

It all starts here.


About Author

Strip club drama and bananas-up-butt-holes. Fill your thigh-highs with the inside stories and everyday musings of a sex-positive, misconception stomping, feminist sex worker.

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